Day 83: Urgent – Laughter Needed

Joan – you are a genius. You have absolutely hit the nail on the head. Some levity is PRECISELY what I need right now. All this earnest save-the-world stuff, combined with getting my ass kicked by this Indian Ocean, has led to spirits being, if not low, then somewhere around sea level.

So some jokes or funny stories from my readers would be tremendously welcome. I could do with a few good belly laughs. Bring them on!

Here are a few smiles I found in a file on my laptop, just to get the ball rolling:

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive (or row oceans)
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I’m sure you can do better than these. Please do!

Other Stuff:

Those of you who listen to my podcast will know that my co-host, Vic Phillipson, lives in Norway. I can let you know that Vic and his family are all safe and well, and have not been directly affected by the recent ghastly events. He mentioned the sad sight of the flags on their local city bridge flying at half mast, but reports that he is proud of how well organized, and generally un-flappable the civilian, military, and medical authorities have been, and continue to be.

Mileage today was again dismal. After struggling all day yesterday to make a measly 7 miles, I lost 6 of them overnight, and today have been banging my head against an adverse current with no wind to help me. And no improvement in the forecast at the time of writing. Sigh.

But I did have one triumph today. I did some electrical jiggery-pokery (and you know how much I dread having to do such things) and managed to resuscitate one of my gadgets. I was really rather proud of myself.

I don’t know what has got into the chaps downstairs. As I am writing this they have gone bananas. I can hear big fishy-sized splashes from outside every few seconds, meaning they are jumping backflips. Maybe they’re putting on a show to cheer me up? Nice try, chaps, but you’re hardly the Marx Brothers.

Thank you, Jay, for proposing a Roz Solidarity Sunset at the next full moon (Aug 13). That is a lovely idea. I will indeed be dining on miso soup and beansprouts, but if you’d rather have something more enjoyable and/or more nautical, I won’t begrudge you your wider range of options. I will sit out on deck to watch the full moon rising, and waiting to feel the force!

Tom – interesting point of view, that if we lived longer we’d have a clearer perspective on our global impact. Not sure what to do about that one. We’re already trying to fix environmental meltdown and world poverty here – now eradicating (or at least seriously postponing) death as well??! Just as an aside, I highly recommend the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson –Red Mars, Green Mars and Blue Mars. The main characters in that have a lifespan of about 250 years, which enables them to witness the terraforming of the planet from red rock to Earth II. And they’re great books for provoking thoughts about how we might set up a new human civilization from scratch.

Cynthia – I agree that leading by example is the most powerful way to change the world – and to advertise what we are doing, and why we are doing it. Whether we are setting an example to our neighbours next door, or across the world, we should seize every opportunity to spread the word – by mouth, email, internet, TV, film, books, whatever. I’ve thought about writing to novelists to ask them if they could substitute re-usable grocery bags for plastic bags in their books, and never to allow a character to use styrofoam. Maybe they could even visit a farmer’s market rather than the supermarket. It all helps!

Karen Morss – I hope the bees are settling in well and getting to work. I love honey!

RGJ – teehee! I liked the quote, although I agree that your suggestion might have been more relevant!

Quote for today, in a similarly light vein: “Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper?” (Jerry Seinfeld)

Photo: a dramatic sunset tonight – red sky at night, rower’s delight?

Sponsored Miles: Discouragement: Roz has been swept backwards about 6 miles in the last 24 hours. Encouragement: Several new sponsors to help her regain those lost miles. Thanks to Charlotte Vick, Patty Elkus, Tom Hockman and Mark Clifton.